Books for Adoptive Parents

Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids.  Gregory Keck & Regina Kupecky.  This book is especially helpful for families adopting older children with emotional, behavioral and/or psychological issues. Keck and Kupecky give readers insight into how these children became hurt and offers sound advice on not only dealing appropriately with the child's behavior, exercising patience, and creating a safe and nurturing environment and more.

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents by Deborah D. Gray (2002)  This is a classic in the field of adoption.  The book throughly explains attachment concerns and then gives techniques for bonding with your child.

Adoption Parenting, Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae  This book is an excellent resource for adoptive parents.  The book is a collection of  essays by experts and parents. The book is broken down by topic so it is easy to use.   

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment Challenged Children with Severe Behaviors, by Heather Forbes and B. Bryan Post.  Many parents get disenchanted by the first chapter and the authors statements regarding the trauma a young infant experiences after placement.  However if you read further and stick with book, it is full of practical real life tips that can help you develop a better relationship with your child.   

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky, Ph.D.; Marshall D. Schechter, MD & Robin Marantz Henig (1992). This book overlays potential adoption developmental tasks on Erik Erickson’s model of developmental tasks.

Building the Bonds of Attachment, 2nd. Edition, (2006), Daniel Hughes, Ph.D.  This book is helpful in understanding children with attachment concerns.  The techniques are easy to understand.  This book is recommended for parents of birth and adopted children
because it contains invaluable information.

he Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family, by Karyn Purvis, David Cross and Wendy Lyons.  This Fabulous book based on empirical research with adopted children explains changes in the brain and uses a wholistic approach to healing the wounded child.  

Growing Up Again, By  Sherrie Eldridge  This well written gives tremendous insights into the kind of parenting one receives and the affects of that parenting on their own ability to parent. One chapter is devoted entirely to adoption.

Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma (2007)
Deborah D. Gray With higher and higher percentages of children joining their families not as newborns, but from domestic or international foster care or from orphanages abroad, both parents and the professionals with whom they consult need new skills.

Parenting from the Inside Out,  Daniel Siegel & Mary Hartzel, 2003.
The authors offer lessons in neurobiology and stress the importance of examining and making peace with your past so that you can avoid repeating negative patterns of  interaction with your own kids.

Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, 1990.  
Cline, M.D., Foster W. & Fay, Jim. This classic introduces parents to allowing natural consequences, staying calm, and giving choices.  By allowing our children to learn through consequences there is no need to lecture.

Parenting Teens With Love & Logic:
Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood, 1992. Cline, M.D., Foster W. & Fay, Jim. Pinon Press, Colorado Springs, CO.  Another classic which reduces power struggles and helps parents to maintain emotional regulation.  

Raising Adopted Children: Books:
Lois Ruskai Melina by Lois Ruskai Melina. This solid  practical book covers thoughts of adoptees and their parents.  The book is especially appreciated by couples who were/are unable to conceive, as it speaks to these couple's need to grieve.

The Post Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption Karen Foli, Ph.D. and John Thompson, MD (2004).
 An excellent book for infertile couples who may not have worked through the loss of the biological child, they will never have.  There is also information and discussion about older adopted children.

Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best (1997)
This book is a guide for parents who have adopted a child who is old enough to remember loss and trauma, yet not old enough to express their emotions or memories.  The author has helped unravel some of the mysteries that come with toddlers.  It is most valuable in helping assess whether behaviors are adoption related or typical toddler behavior.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew By Sherrie Eldridge. 
This collection of essays offers insight into 20 common unspoken concerns that often affect adopted children and their parents, and offers pragmatic advice for overcoming these challenges together.